ANALYSIS FROM CONTENTIOUS DIVORCE

ANALYSIS FROM CONTENTIOUS DIVORCE : THE PROBLEM OF THE SONS.

I-DESCRIPTION OF SITUATION.

In contentious divorces, depending of the existing relation in between the couple, can arise different situations.

Usually the subject is always the custody of sons. Because both in the couple, or one of its member ; has taken the decision of forgetting about the other. Consequently the main interest uses to be what remains from the former relation, id est the sons.

We can found from this point of view two kind of couples ; the ones that divorce with sons adult or almost and that often have already forecasted the situation ; and the ones that divorce with sons still not adult, most of them.

In that specific moment is very important the position that each member of the couple occupies in the family. Usually with years passion is lost, in benefit of complicity relations with one of the sons or several of them.

Couples usually tend to either give priority to the family relation and sacrifice personal goals in the benefit of the family ; or on the contrary develop those personal goals against the family. That flows in that after years of marriage there is a situation of blindness towards the future, that eventually can drive the personal situation of one of the memebers of the couple towards the cliffs.

From this point, situations are generally two ; duel of titans, or tense peacefulness :

-1-The Duel of Titans.

It happens usually within couples with small vision of future, or that just live the moment. Its maximum result is to exterminate its couple that at this moment is guilty from its current situation.

-2-The Tense Peacefulness.

Usually arises in couples with future planning, and that see the necessity of he other parent for the good growth of sons. Those couples renounce to a part from its future in benefit of the sons

II-FINAL RESULT OF THE BREAK AWAY.

Considering our legal Spanish system and the development of procedures, with an outcome that may vary with the time, what is usually clear is that the couple relation will not be resumed.

Sons, that usually tend to move to the mother, sometimes can also decide to go with the father ; and provided the case they are older they could treat both at the same stage.

III-SITUATION OF THE SONS.

Sons are usually the more affected victims from the break off of the relation, and sometimes they develop pathologies that will last for a long time. The son is the biggest loser from the break off from couple ; and over who, very offen and without intention, parents translate their frustrations.

IV-CRITICISM OF CONTENTIOUS SPANISH PROCEDURE REGARDING THE SONS.

The contentious procedure aims to offer maximum guaranties to the minor children, so that they can show her will. Although that should happen in the Judge's Office, and regarding its family situation.

The existence of a certain personal selfishness, which is general in many cases, and that draws to maximize personal interest against interest of sons, brings as a result that most times the parent who goes with the son to the interview in the Judge's Office, establish himself in the person who represents the son at that time, and that offers himself the answers to the son from he questions he is going to receive.

With this behaviour son is being alienated against the other parent, and shows that frequently who has the control of the sons, has also the control of the family.

V-PROPOSAL TO IMPROVE THE CURRENT CONTENTIUOUS PROCEDURE FOR COUPLES.

Hence :

-a-First of all social services should have a more important role, so that the sons that often have a partial view from family ; which is usually provoked by the influence of one of the parents, or both ; could have a broader view from the family relation, and acquire some responsibility in the divorce.

-b-In second place, it happens often that parents are more in need that the sons ; and are those who should obtain social assistance, so as to complete their criteria ; and in this way have the possibility of driving a better future for them and for their sons.

VI-ANALYSIS OF CONTENTIOUS SYSTEM REGARDING MARRIAGES.

In fact, considering system, is not that bad, because allows each party to express freely. But from my point of view the assistance from justice, should be completed with more social elements that should allow to widen the criteria in the moment of resolution, with more means, just to allow a better outcome in favour of the parents, and the sons.

La Razon, March 8 th  2.016